Last Sunday my niece Franny (she just moved to Florida from North Carolina) and her three children came over to visit at the Doll House. My nephew Billy was already here working on the fence and he has his wife-to-be and two of three kids. Of course I was here and Leona had come over to see Franny. So, total count at the highest…10 in house. Then the neighbor boys saw my oldest niece and all of a sudden my yard became the most popular yard on the block. 🙂 Ahh, to be a kid again…not in a million years, thanks though. 😀
Since I’ve moved, I have been feeling better. I have adjusted some things in my life to see what makes me more me. 🙂 (That should scare some people!) LOL.
So now I’ve been bitten by a different bug…the decorating bug is normal. Ask my friends…every time they come over I have rearranged something else. Well (woe is me) the new bug is decorating the yard. (well, what else do you call it?) Ah yes, landscaping. Here’s the difference: to landscape, you have to know how; to decorate the yard…you just go out and wing it…with everything. LOL.
So on that note…I can say that I finally finished raking the back yard and most of the side yard. Now all I have to do is where we moved the fence out to. However I can honestly say…that will be in a few days. When I finished working out there Thursday, I took all sorts of precautions so I wouldn’t be sore: hot shower, medication on muscles, pain strip, etc and I was shocked Friday morning when…it actually worked! That is (dum da dum dum) until I starting raking again this morning. 😦 OUCH!!
I mean honestly, I guess all in all I can say that I don’t feel too badly. It’s just certain areas which I should’ve known I’d have a problem with anyway. Like my hands! Oh My Word!!! I have huge blisters and these things ache more than usual. I am sitting here asking myself, “Just how much of a weenie am I?” Come on…what happens when I get down to plant the flowers? Will I be stuck in the flowerbed until someone decides to come and find me? And remember, I don’t have a bunch of friends here yet…just me, the kids, my sister and my landlord. I would be stuck there till Sunday afternoon at least. LOL. On second thought…I’ll be taking my walker outside with me…just in case. 🙂
I am finding it immensely amusing that my Lord had to move me 68 to 80 miles (depending on the route) from Titusville, from my church and my friends to teach me things like patience and show me how to find joy & peace. 🙂 Please don’t get me wrong…I did okay in T-ville and nobody there stopped me from acquiring these things but me. 😛
I lived in Titusville for 24 years. Man, does that make me sound well-seasoned and wise! In that amount of time, I have made life-long friends, I’ve made multitudes of mistakes and enemies…I’ve made a life. I also made habits…I could go to anyone that I was close to (or sometimes not so close to) and ask for their advice, their help, their wisdom, their gossip…to sum it up, I could ask my friends and church family for anything. And yes, in most areas that is blessing. However, in my case, it also made it very easy to go to a physical person instead of dropping to my knees in prayer to my spiritual Father. I’m sure there is someone out there that can relate to this but when you are impatient and want an answer, you really don’t want to pray over that answer for days or weeks, you just want to hear ‘a’ answer so that if it lined up with what you thought…great – you were ready to go! And, if it didn’t, you could keep going to another person until you got the answer that you were seeking. I’m not saying that I did this consistently but I know I have done it and I’ve done it more than once. 😦
I think one of the things that I took to my Pastor more than once was that I wasn’t sure if I could hear God speak to me. And for those of you out there you think I have finally lost it, rein it back in; I’m referring to that “still, small voice” that you hear deep in your soul and brain. You know that one…if we are saved, we hear it unless we allow (intentionally or unintentionally) noises from the outside to block what He wants us to hear. Those noises come in many forms: worldliness, loud mind-numbing music, focusing on the wrong thing, meditating on anything that comes to mind, other than the Lord, and the list goes on. It doesn’t have to be loud to stop us from hearing Him, it just has to gain our attention for one minute and then we consciously or subconsciously choose to whom we will listen.
Well, I can say that I am now learning to listen. Am I always doing a bang-up job on it? No, but I am getting better. Hence the joy and peace that keeps creeping into my heart. I can almost imagine another me (my soul me, if you will) standing outside of my body, watching what I say and do as I stop myself time and again from choosing to listen to the world and instead seeking God’s Face on whatever it is my question or plea may be. I laugh at myself because I find myself sometimes with certain triggers that still prompt me to start to panic and think that I must have that answer now and I will start pacing as I think of who I can call to discuss it with. Please understand that I am not in any way suggesting that counsel is bad; quite the contrary…counsel is very good. However, if you haven’t even attempted to counsel with the Wonderful Counselor first, going to a person is kind of backwards because eventually you will have to face the Lord with your concerns; He has a way of putting you in a position where calling out to Him is your only option in the end.
So, I have actually kind of “watched” myself start to panic and then remind myself that this problem, situation or experience is something that my Lord already knows about (He even knows the outcome already!) so why drain my energy, my good mood and my health by fussing over something that may or may not even amount to anything when all is said and done. A side note: I think when we meet with Jesus face to face, we will find that most things we worried about or lost sleep over were things that, had we been listening to Him in first place, wouldn’t have even been in our life’s agenda. When we listen to Him, it doesn’t mean that we have no problems; it just means that they are there for a reason and if our Father in Heaven already knows…why are we worrying ourselves silly about it? 😀
So, day by day and minute by minute, I am learning to lean upon Him in all things. I am finding out that when I do so, I am able to bring my emotions back down to where the joy and peace that He has given me lie, waiting for me to get a grip on His reality once again.
Til’ next time… faithwalkin’ 🙂