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Last Sunday my niece Franny (she just moved to Florida from North Carolina) and her three children came over to visit at the Doll House. My nephew Billy was already here working on the fence and he has his wife-to-be and two of three kids. Of course I was here and Leona had come over to see Franny. So, total count at the highest…10 in house. Then the neighbor boys saw my oldest niece and all of a sudden my yard became the most popular yard on the block. 🙂 Ahh, to be a kid again…not in a million years, thanks though. 😀
Since I’ve moved, I have been feeling better. I have adjusted some things in my life to see what makes me more me. 🙂 (That should scare some people!) LOL.
So now I’ve been bitten by a different bug…the decorating bug is normal. Ask my friends…every time they come over I have rearranged something else. Well (woe is me) the new bug is decorating the yard. (well, what else do you call it?) Ah yes, landscaping. Here’s the difference: to landscape, you have to know how; to decorate the yard…you just go out and wing it…with everything. LOL.
So on that note…I can say that I finally finished raking the back yard and most of the side yard. Now all I have to do is where we moved the fence out to. However I can honestly say…that will be in a few days. When I finished working out there Thursday, I took all sorts of precautions so I wouldn’t be sore: hot shower, medication on muscles, pain strip, etc and I was shocked Friday morning when…it actually worked! That is (dum da dum dum) until I starting raking again this morning. 😦 OUCH!!
I mean honestly, I guess all in all I can say that I don’t feel too badly. It’s just certain areas which I should’ve known I’d have a problem with anyway. Like my hands! Oh My Word!!! I have huge blisters and these things ache more than usual. I am sitting here asking myself, “Just how much of a weenie am I?” Come on…what happens when I get down to plant the flowers? Will I be stuck in the flowerbed until someone decides to come and find me? And remember, I don’t have a bunch of friends here yet…just me, the kids, my sister and my landlord. I would be stuck there till Sunday afternoon at least. LOL. On second thought…I’ll be taking my walker outside with me…just in case. 🙂
I am finding it immensely amusing that my Lord had to move me 68 to 80 miles (depending on the route) from Titusville, from my church and my friends to teach me things like patience and show me how to find joy & peace. 🙂 Please don’t get me wrong…I did okay in T-ville and nobody there stopped me from acquiring these things but me. 😛
I lived in Titusville for 24 years. Man, does that make me sound well-seasoned and wise! In that amount of time, I have made life-long friends, I’ve made multitudes of mistakes and enemies…I’ve made a life. I also made habits…I could go to anyone that I was close to (or sometimes not so close to) and ask for their advice, their help, their wisdom, their gossip…to sum it up, I could ask my friends and church family for anything. And yes, in most areas that is blessing. However, in my case, it also made it very easy to go to a physical person instead of dropping to my knees in prayer to my spiritual Father. I’m sure there is someone out there that can relate to this but when you are impatient and want an answer, you really don’t want to pray over that answer for days or weeks, you just want to hear ‘a’ answer so that if it lined up with what you thought…great – you were ready to go! And, if it didn’t, you could keep going to another person until you got the answer that you were seeking. I’m not saying that I did this consistently but I know I have done it and I’ve done it more than once. 😦
I think one of the things that I took to my Pastor more than once was that I wasn’t sure if I could hear God speak to me. And for those of you out there you think I have finally lost it, rein it back in; I’m referring to that “still, small voice” that you hear deep in your soul and brain. You know that one…if we are saved, we hear it unless we allow (intentionally or unintentionally) noises from the outside to block what He wants us to hear. Those noises come in many forms: worldliness, loud mind-numbing music, focusing on the wrong thing, meditating on anything that comes to mind, other than the Lord, and the list goes on. It doesn’t have to be loud to stop us from hearing Him, it just has to gain our attention for one minute and then we consciously or subconsciously choose to whom we will listen.
Well, I can say that I am now learning to listen. Am I always doing a bang-up job on it? No, but I am getting better. Hence the joy and peace that keeps creeping into my heart. I can almost imagine another me (my soul me, if you will) standing outside of my body, watching what I say and do as I stop myself time and again from choosing to listen to the world and instead seeking God’s Face on whatever it is my question or plea may be. I laugh at myself because I find myself sometimes with certain triggers that still prompt me to start to panic and think that I must have that answer now and I will start pacing as I think of who I can call to discuss it with. Please understand that I am not in any way suggesting that counsel is bad; quite the contrary…counsel is very good. However, if you haven’t even attempted to counsel with the Wonderful Counselor first, going to a person is kind of backwards because eventually you will have to face the Lord with your concerns; He has a way of putting you in a position where calling out to Him is your only option in the end.
So, I have actually kind of “watched” myself start to panic and then remind myself that this problem, situation or experience is something that my Lord already knows about (He even knows the outcome already!) so why drain my energy, my good mood and my health by fussing over something that may or may not even amount to anything when all is said and done. A side note: I think when we meet with Jesus face to face, we will find that most things we worried about or lost sleep over were things that, had we been listening to Him in first place, wouldn’t have even been in our life’s agenda. When we listen to Him, it doesn’t mean that we have no problems; it just means that they are there for a reason and if our Father in Heaven already knows…why are we worrying ourselves silly about it? 😀
So, day by day and minute by minute, I am learning to lean upon Him in all things. I am finding out that when I do so, I am able to bring my emotions back down to where the joy and peace that He has given me lie, waiting for me to get a grip on His reality once again.
Til’ next time… faithwalkin’ 🙂
You have heard me talk about this, that and the other since starting this blog. Well, this post is going to mimic that MasterCard commercial:
- 5 Appliances Fixed or Replaced: $ A LOT (My Landlord’s money)
- 1 Drain Field Redone: $ MORE OF A LOT (Again, my landlord’s money – He’s probably hiding from me now LOL)
- 1 Fence Extension With Gate (so babies are happy): $ 200.00 and counting (my money)
- God Opening My Eyes & Blessing Me In Ways I Couldn’t Imagine: PRICELESS 🙂
My poor landlord (and I only use that in the sense of dollars now LOL) had worked so hard to make sure that I can cook, keep food cold, launder clothes and essentials, keep clean and so many of those little things that one doesn’t think of being an issue when you move into a house that has been empty for a bit. In the process God has blessed me with a Christian friend whom I enjoy talking with and going to church with. I wouldn’t have made this friend or have attended such an awesome church service had the Lord not put me in this house that had circumstances that would cause my landlord and I to be in constant communication (probably too much for him).
Now that I’m getting settled, I am continuing to enjoy the breezes that pop up here every day. I’m feeling better in a lot of ways and am even outside playing fetch with Bo AND raking the yard (a bit at a time). I had missed living in the country so and now I have my “if only.” And, I am truly enjoying that “if only,” more than you can imagine. Things breaking aren’t always pleasant and slowly remembering those things that I didn’t quite care for in the country are slowly coming back to me. However, I still wouldn’t trade it for the biggest house anywhere else.
My kids are content; in fact, Missie, Bo and Nermal are all sleeping at my feet as I type this at the dining room table. Brat is sleeping beside my computer (no beverages anywhere) with his head on the corner of my mousepad. I’ve got my jammies on, my feet propped up in my chair and I feel…you know, I don’t even know if there’s a word to describe it. Well. I can think of two that maybe come close…relaxed and content. I like using those words to describe me. They feel good!
When I drive around here, I feel as if I could just drive forever. The land is so beautiful with green pastures on either side of the road with stands of trees in between. You can see where some houses were on big acres of land by the way the trees formed a natural wind break for the home that used to stand there. As you are driving on the winding roads, you catch glimpses of the lakes through the trees and houses…beautiful water, sparkling in the sun, looking for all like a famous painting ready to be framed. Although I don’t think any frame, wooden, gold, silver or brass could do justice to the sights I see as well as the natural beauty of trees, green grass and various types of boat ramps that cover the shores.If I had my mother’s talent of painting, I’d spend hours parked beside the road, just capturing the way the sun bounces off the top of the water, the many different types of houses that sit side by side and the beautiful wildflowers you see in some of the area’s grass.
Now, when I moved, I knew I would be blessed by being closer to my sister. However, I received a couple of blessings that never even crossed my mind. I don’t think there is a person who doesn’t know how I feel about children. They are great as long as they aren’t mine and they don’t scream around me. LOL. I know…that is sad. I don’t mean to be that way; truly I don’t. I think in part being in Titusville with all of my family farther away, especially the ones with children, kind of changed that part of me early on. My niece Tara was the last one that I was really around and it tore me up to leave her when we moved to Florida. I love all my nephews but my nieces Franny, Virginia and I basically grew up together and if I could have placed them and Tara in a bubble to keep them safe for life, I would have. Yes, now the truth is out and if they read this, they’ll know that I love them. 😛
And yes, I got off track…again. 🙂 Today I went shopping with my sister and my great-niece Dessa, daughter of my nephew Billy and his soon-to-be-wife Kandy. Now I can imagine the thoughts dancing through people’s heads as they laugh hysterically picturing me and a young child, a girl at that, in a grocery store together. Please keep in mind, when my nephew Billy was little and he misbehaved, I held him. Doesn’t sound to bad, right? Ask Billy and he’ll tell you different I think. I held him when he didn’t want to be held. Spanking Billy only made him laugh. LOL. But long story short (somebody get the smelling salts please) I enjoyed being with Dessa today. In fact, I actually came home and thought..”Gee, she could spend the night sometime and we could do fun stuff together.” Like I said, anyone who knows my lack of ability with children probably thinks that I need psychiatric care right now. (They could be right.) 😀
The actual point is that I am, amazingly enough, changing. Even in three weeks, I find myself thinking and doing things that 2 or 3 months ago I would have told you, “No Way!”
I was even invited to the Springs with ‘people’ and I said I would like to go. Again, smelling salts anyone?
When I get up in the morning now, I don’t get up with a “Ughh, I feel horrid.” I get up, get my coffee, step outside and just breathe. I thank God for the trials and the blessings that come each day because only He knows what I need to make me who I need to be. I used to tell my girls (my friends) to look for the blessings in everything…event the hard stuff. I thought I did but here I am seeing a whole new dimension to the blessings that come out of hardship. I would have never moved had my health not indicated that it was wise at the time. My Lord times things perfectly and I know that. I have my moments when I think…”Why didn’t I move here sooner?” And my Lord answers and says,”You weren’t ready then.”
And that is the best blessing there is…hearing Him speak to my spirit through the Holy Spirit in the cool of the day. 😀
Till next time. faithwalkin’ 🙂