Now I know the title doesn’t paint a very pretty picture does it? But as I pondered about the title to this post, I wanted to convey the not so fun, icky stuff that gets stuck in our lives sometimes. In this case, I would be speaking of my spiritual ears. Sometimes the things of this world clog up my ears so that I can’t hear Jesus speak. So every once in a while, the Holy Spirit has to come along and with a giant Q-tip to clear those ears out and give me a better ear for Jesus.
Case in point…this past week there was something that I decided I needed to replace since the one I have is a loaner. I decided I couldn’t wait for my income tax or my disability check because of certain circumstances (which at the time were legitimate) so I asked a friend to spot me until the 8th when I get paid. They said no problem so to me everything was settled and we were on our way. But…my friend kept getting sick or not feeling good enough to go out. I was patient; I thought this was just a temporary delay, right? Wrong.
Then my income tax check came in a week early. I thought, “Ah-ha! Now I can take care of business!” Nope – I couldn’t find a ride. Now I was getting a tad frustrated. Here I was with good intentions, trying to do basically what I needed to do before I moved and it was like Satan was putting up road blocks everywhere. For the record, I normally don’t give Satan that much credit. I feel that I am perfectly able to do wrong without him putting temptation in my path.
Well, Friday morning I am up early, charged and ready to go. My neighbor was going to let me use her car and I was going to go take care of business. I decided to check my email’s before I left and there, in my inbox (not that I knew it yet) was a lesson waiting to drive home a hard point that I struggle to learn. I open the email and I’m asked to trust and wait before I go take care of my purchase. I argued a bit but then I just stopped and basically said, “Fine, I’ll do what you want.”
Since I do struggle so in this area that even then I didn’t get it…until that night. I was talking to a friend about my stubbornness and it hit me like a brick wall. A person in an email said, “Try trusting me.” I finally got it…yes, it’s okay to trust this person but that really isn’t Who I should be trusting now, is it? Jesus is Who I should be trusting. And once that sunk in, I realized that the missed trips to purchase what I thought I had to have and the inability to find a ride, wasn’t satan trying to thwart my plans, it was Jesus telling me, “No, wait on Me for this. Try trusting me.”
That was kind of painful to learn. Nobody wants to hear about how they don’t listen to Jesus and that they are selfish and prideful on top of it. I will say though, I am thankful for the lesson. With Jesus I need to be more trusting, less selfish and prideful and more willing to say, “Fine, I’ll do what you want,” with a smile on my face and in my heart. Faithwalkin’ 🙂